| Alright Fucktards |
|
|
| 09:42am 13/10/2004 |
| |
|
mood: Smug music: Ship of Gold by Clutch
|
Got a new account. You want the name, you have to fuckin ask. Now go play with your dicks somewhere. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| OH! |
|
|
| 02:47pm 28/06/2004 |
| |
mood:  confused
|
First thing. FORGET about that last entry. I was having a really shitty night, had to vent.
Second thing. I'm back in Reno for a wedding, perhaps longer. Long story. You wanna hear it? Seek me out.
Despite popular belief, I'm not out to destroy anyone. Just wondering why. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| I've Fucking Had It. Try 'n Stop Me. |
|
|
| 12:25pm 09/06/2004 |
| |
|
mood: destroyed music: Scarlet Sillouhettes by Withering Surface
|
Alright this shit's gone on long enough. I'm tired of one sided opinons and fake stores. Despite repeated attempts, I die in Reno. Looks like I'm never going to leave.
I don't know what anybody wants anymore. SO I HAVE COME TO A CONCLUSION.
There is one of two things on my list that WILL be marked off.
A: Die up here on the streets.
B: Go on a rampage in Reno.
Well it looks like the latter will happen.
FORGIVE ME FOR FUCKING BEING HUMAN!!!!!
You drove me to do this and I hope you're happy. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| G. Dubya Funk Strikes Back! |
|
|
| 08:01pm 04/06/2004 |
| |
mood:  enraged music: We Hate Everyone by Type O Negative
|
I swear, if this guy gets re-elected again (and we all have this DREAD that he will... call it a preminition), I'm outta this fucking country. Screw you nazi motherfuckers. Shit eating, backwater drinking, inconsistant bible humping... ::grumbling becomes more aggressive::
http://studentwork.qantm.com.au/akrespanis/bits/bush.htm
Oh I almost forgot. You want real news? Not on Fox News. As fair and balanced as a shitty Taiwaneese sword... 440 stainless my ass... ::grumbling fades::
Get the real news here:
http://www.oldamericancentury.org/
Btw... check the song. Rather appropriate, no? If you look up the lyrics, you'll find it even more funny. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| ::sighs:: |
|
|
| 12:50pm 02/06/2004 |
| |
mood:  blank music: Pull Me Under by Dream Theatre
|
Before I get to the depressing shit, here's a very happy birthday to Mista Jim, sorry I couldn't be there for ya this year man... I hear it was pretty dead... ::shakes head:: really sorry I couldn't be there with ya man. Though I did hear about how they finally got you drunk... YOU of all people, the irish-apache "I CANNOT GET DRUNK" superhuman monster... I'll see it one of these days, you'd better be counting on it man :D. Happy birthday! :D
Alright, time for the sappy shit.
I don't know about anything anymore. Though I can probably attribute my slight paranoia to the lack of food for the last day now...
I don't know what the fuck to do. I know Kelly is already about to slit my throat, the money is completely tapped, and it doesn't look likely I'll have employment anytime soon. I've been weighing out my options for the last 24 hours now in a fit of absolute depression and desperation. It looks like I might have to hitch a ride back to Reno with Dennis and Jessica all things permitting. That is... if they allow me... I don't even think it'll happen at this rate. My luck has been soaring up until now. I'd much rather die on the streets of downtown Seattle than return to Reno again... but ::sighs:: it's not about what I'd LIKE to have anymore.
As FOR Dennis and Jessica... they're coming up here on the 12th. There's a land of promises on their end, just you watch though. All of it will fall through, just like everything else has. I've decided not to drink again until my birthday... kinda worried though... I have a feeling it'll turn into an alcoholocaust all over again. Jessica is quite the little booze hound... as for Dennis the opposite. Looks like I'll have a shackle after all.
The good news is I'm losing weight at an unhealthy rate, har har har.
What the hell do I do.
Hrm... I suppose there's always one last resort. Walmart. ::shudders:: Hey... atleast I can keep my hair and goatee. Even then I'll get benefits eh? Looks like I'll be asking Kelly tomorrow for directions. I've already been out and about today, so forgive me for being fucking lazy. |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| Next Entry Will Be A REAL ONE... I Promise... |
|
|
| 04:34am 02/06/2004 |
| |
mood:  lonely music: Cage by Dir en Grey
|
| PARENTAL | | ADVISORY | MAJIN TOM CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS |
From Go-Quiz.com
This is all too appropriate... 'specially with how foul I can get, nugga nooch! Looks like I'll have something to keep me busy in photoshop after all. :D |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| I'm Really Sick... Specially After GWAR, Eh? |
|
|
| 03:47am 13/05/2004 |
| |
| Your Ultimate Purity Score Is... | | Category | Your Score | Average | | Self-Lovin' | 15%
I wouldn't shake hands, if I were you | 65.1% | | Shamelessness | 33.3%
Puts 'em on the glass | 79.4% | | Sex Drive | 39.5%
I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'! | 77.8% | | Straightness | 5.4%
Knows the other body type like a map | 44.9% | | Gayness | 23.2%
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame | 83.7% |
| Fucking Sick | 69%
Dipped into depravity | 90% |
You are 34.02% pure
Average Score: 72.7%
| |
|
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| And In One Day, All The Luck In The World Was Used Up... |
|
|
| 02:28am 13/05/2004 |
| |
mood: exhausted music: We Hate Everyone by Type O Negative
|
Karma is a very real thing. Especially when a 400 pound metal head named Ken is driving. But we'll get to that later.
For 6 years (as we all know now), I've strived to see GWAR in concert. Today, my mission has been accomplished, with the gracious help of Kelly. She requested yesterday I be out of the house a few days back so she can get some time in with her friends on her day off. Considering I don't leave here, it's MORE than understandable. On top of that, she knows I've been itching to see GWAR, and I've been bummed the entire week because I didn't have the money to blow. So, seeing that, she gave me a 50 this afternoon, requesting 20 back. I shit. There was a bit of confusion as to the bus, but it was worked out. Spook, Dan, and Jen were here when I got up, and as luck would have it, they said they'd give me a ride down to the station (seeing as how I didn't know where it was). My luck at this rate was far above normal. I've been holding my smoking habbit down to a cig a day for about a week now and I STILL haven't bought a pack. I get down to the terminal, and EVERYONE is smoking. Can't take it anymore, so I figure, fuck why not. I successfully bum one. LUCK IS FAR ABOVE NORMAL. So, the plan was that I take the 511 down to downtown Seattle, to the corner of 2nd and Pike. Silly me, I got confused when I saw PINE and second, so I got off a little early. Not bad, because I had to walk to showbox, which was at 1st and Pike. Pine and Pike are literally RIGHT NEXT TO EACHOTHER. ::rolls eyes:: Whoever decided to name them should be shot. So anyways, I get to showbox, walk in and grab my ticket. In doing so, I was mistook for a roadie. "Why the fuck are you screwing around up here? Get to the van and unload the shit.... oh wait... dude I'm terribly sorry. Thought you were someone else." Funny, because I was dressed in my stagehand clothes today lol. So I walk out and start jibba jabberin with one of the local gutter punks, and guess who comes waking by? Mr. Dave Brocke himself (Oderus, lead singer of GWAR). Had a friendly chat with him. LUCK SOARING HIGHER THAN EVER. Meet up with some hillbilly GWAR fans, and bullshit with them. I'm literally the FIRST IN LINE. No shitting. LUCK GAINS MOMENTUM. Well after an hour and half of waiting in line, inside we go, all to wait... you guessed it! ANOTHER HOUR AND A HALF! Meh, it was alright though... :D Because in fact, right next to me, stood the cutest little chick I had EVER seen... I mean jaw dropping cute. I also failed to mention I was FRONT ROW CENTER.
She made the mistake of saying aloud she adored guys with long hair.
MADE MY NIGHT. Specially when she went out of her way to find me. More on that at 10.
Well the first band came on, pretty good. Second band came on, got to be a pain. Getting slameed against the railings... didn't get any better after that. They left the stage, and GWAR took a half a fucking HOUR to get on the stage. There was literally 500 people in a building which had a max of 400. So it was JAM FUCKING PACKED. I was being crushed, and it felt like I was taking a bath in other peoples puss, vomit, booze, sweat, and blood. FUN. ::rolls eyes:: LUCK GOING DOWN...
Show starts, get covered in red and green. Halfway into the set, I am literally THROWN from my spot and back a few rows, where I fall flat on my ass. I'm dying of a heat stroke and dehydration. There is NO ONE helping me up. I am TRAMPLED by 30 people for the next song. From that, I am picked up and ejected into the pit. FUCK. All I want is to get out of there... THE LUCK HAS SLOWED. I get to the doors, and meanwhile the signs say NO RE-ENTRY. EVERYWHERE. I BEG security to let me out and back in because I need some air. They were totally understanding. Well I get back in, and guess who I run into? That's right. The little hottie that I was chillin with earlier. She said she looked all over for me... poor thing had her glasses liquified. Tore her lip open... poor girl. Well I saw bring out the world maggot,and of all, GOR GOR! ::drools:: Well long story short, I wait impaitently till the end of the show by the chicks side (checking my watch constantly, so I don't miss the bus). Well I got her number outside, after frantically searching for a pen... and haul ass to the bus terminal. Missed it by 30 seconds. THE LUCK HAS STOPPED. Well shit... now to find a bus that goes out to Lynnwood at this godforsaken hour. After asking people left and right, one tells me 360, aptly as it shows up. They tell me to ask the driver. He says he's pretty sure 101 will take me from Aroura to Lynnwood, but he's NOT sure. I take a gamble. My back is killing me, and I'm soaking wet, and foul smelling. Get to Aroura station. Sit out in the cold for 15 fucking minutes. The driver doesn't speak english. FUCKING PERFECT. He can't help me AT ALL. Well I get off the bus around the Albertson's. I know where I am, to some extent. Walk to the gas station to see if I'm in the 425 area code. A big dude is leaving the store when I ask. I leave, and the big dude starts to quesiton me. Asks me where I'm goin, etc. BAM! LUCK KICKS ME SQUARE IN THE NUTS. "Hey dude, you want a ride? I'm goin that direction anyway."
Come to find out, he's a metalhead too, all 400 pounds of him... the dude's name is Ken. Nice guy. Gives me a ride right to the apartmets. 2 miles of something I was BEGGING not to walk.
Karma is a wonderful thing.
I say that... mainly because I have given money, cigs, and help to the people around here. Mostly helping people out if they need it. Makes me feel good. And boy did I luck out tonight with Ken, Rachel, and Mr. Brocke.
All a fucking mess of luck. Reminds you of a twisted version of Detroit Rock City doesn't it? |
|
| |
|
Read 4 - Post |
| |
| Now From Seattle, IT'S TOMUNIST LIVE! |
|
|
| 03:25am 20/04/2004 |
| |
mood:  accomplished music: Battlefield by Blind Guardian
|
Boy, what a day for an update. Let's start off with the news shall we?
This portion brought to you by Rotten.com
April 20th, 1999
After their homemade timebombs fail to detonate in the school cafeteria, the heavily-armed duo of Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold decide to prowl through Columbine High School, indiscriminately gunning down classmates. A total of 15 are killed in their shooting spree. Contrary to news reports, their selection of victims is apparently random; they aren't hunting for jocks or blacks. Nor do they execute that Christian girl -- Valeen Schnurr in fact manages to crawl away and live to tell her story. They are not goths, they aren't gay, nor were they ever members of that dorky clique calling themselves the "Trenchcoat Mafia." They don't even listen to Marilyn Manson. Harris and Klebold are just a couple of extremely pissed-off kids with an arsenal.
Wonderful day. I hope it rains.
On with the real news eh?
As you all SHOULD know, I moved to Seattle (Lynnwood technically) exactly one week ago today. So far, here's the news, each shall be gotten to in turn.
Rained 5 out of 7 days.
Bought 12-15 of the Berserk manga.
Dined on expensive items (all VERY CHEAP up here) such as Unagi and Kani.
Sticking to my smoking plan with the help of Kelly.
Bought and currently playing the origonal Lufia.
Walked a grand total of 12 miles this week.
Shall we start?
For all of you who know me well, you know rain has always cheered me up. Of course, I'd always make a big deal down in Reno about smoking when it was raining, alas up here it doesn't bother me AT ALL. In Reno, as we all know, I'd have to wait upward of 2 months for it to rain, and I HATED THAT. We are in the middle of the wet season, and I know I'm not missing anything. When it rains up here, it pours. I have walked in it twice now, and I'm going to continue enjoying it. There's only one thing it lacks up here... and that's the rain smell that Reno gets. ::sigh:: OH WELL. I can pass it up. Heard it snowed down there a few days back too. Ridiculous.
Kelly and I went down to Umajiwaya Market/Kinokaniya Book Store. Looked for Seikima, turns out I will be able to get it if I special order it. 20 bucks isn't bad, but I've spent FAR too much money on bullshit already. Like Berserk. I've been slacking on my japanese, and it's time to get with the program. Can't be a baka gaijin forever. I've got a japanese dictionary at my disposal up here, and I intend to get it straight. MWAHAHAHAHA! In other news... food time! The kani and unagi was back in the supermarket (both are connected). FUCKING CHRIST I'VE NEVER SEEN SEAFOOD THIS CHEAP BEFORE! Well... unless you count the outer banks, but that was on the east coast... 6 bucks for a WHOLE EEL! Thanks for telling me about this little jem Chris. $2.50 for one package (6 pieces) of KANI! INCREDIBLE!! Let's not forget the 99 cent Ramune or the 2 buck a Pocky Decour box!! CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP!!! Well I've been very entertained up here... just so all of you know, in case you couldn't tell...
Kelly's been getting on me about smoking, and today I decided to test out my strength so far. I've gone the entire day without one, and I'm doing quite alright. Still sticking to the 4 a day plan, and it's going well. Even found a smoke shop bout a mile down the road that offers cigs that are very close to Reno's prices (everywhere else it's upward of 5 bucks a fucking pack). Here's the thing... I know Cody will beg to differ with me on this (depending on which part), but I find the people up here to be INCREDIBLY easy going and laid back. I'VE NEVER SEEN PEOPLE LIKE THIS BEFORE!! Frankly, I'm used to the muss and fuss of everyone in Reno blowing their last fucking dime on a stupid machine, and making it out to be your fault because their luck is shit/they're having a bad day/they couldn't get NON dairy creamer... now all of you make a note. I'm in Lynnwood, yuppie central. Downtown Seattle is friendly (well so far atleast), but keep in mind, I've never been down there after hours. So the need to smoke is kept at a minimum. Has a lot to do with my father too... but I'm away from that pompus fucking ass, and I'm going to need a ciggy if I keep this up... so moving along.
Found the glory of independantly owned game shops today (thanks to Kelly), and I felt like I was in a candy store... I REALLY NEED TO QUIT SPENDING MONEY LIKE I HAVE IT... but in any case, I've been itching to play the first one for literally an eternity now, considering I had Lufia II. Don't let the 2 confuse you, total prequel. So far so good. Something else to occupy me. My guitar has not dissapointed me at all yet either, and there's even an independant guitar shop down the street about half a mile. Speaking of mileage...
I've been walking constantly up here, and I contribute that to my muscles burning and giving up before I get winded. I tend to sweat like a pig, probably due to the humidity. Coming from a smoker, this is incredible. I have not been winded on my walks ONCE. In 12 miles not winded once. Fucking incredible! And keep in mind, these aren't flat level surfaces either. Oh no. Just ask Chris. We live in quite the hilly area. I'm incredibly pleased with my performance overall this week, and I plan to keep it up. Thin as I can by June! Nicotine free by June! Which reminds me, I hope Chris got Andrea's fucking Mercedes. Fucking bitch. Hope she rots in hell (aka Reno). Tee hee. Never to be heard from again... Chris you'd better be sticking to your word on not telling her where I am. I'm gonna stick on you about that...
Next week's report, the job coming ups. So far, I have a resume and tons of places to hit. One of which being ever so faithful IATSE (the union), which will be taken care of tomorrow. If I don't get this, a lot of people will raise a lot of hell, in both Reno and SLC. Oh, I've been a busy little Bumbleshamp.
So until next week 'o yea faithful friends and readers!
Ja ne. |
|
| |
|
Read 3 - Post |
| |
| EXTRY! EXTRY! Tom Used As A Chimney Sweep! |
|
|
| 05:02am 16/03/2004 |
| |
mood:  cheerful music: Land of Immortals (Rhapsody) - by Sonata Arctica
|
God... I wanted to type about this sooner, but I've been either lazy or busy somehow. Can't really type in this damn thing when there's company here now.
Here's the mission data. I've always said my father was a robot, and now I shall program him to be so.
Saturday
AFTERMATH
8 A.M.
MISSION OBJECTIVE:
Come home, read paper, sustane hunger, fix house sail.
The one known as Baka Düg doubled over in car parking in lot. PROBABLY DEAD. All appears well despite oddity in front. Upon entrance, notice unfinished booze, new living room layout, destroyed house. Here lies the one known as Cody, dostile, resembeling a mummy on the couch, vomit encrusting coat and pants. PROBABLY DEAD. Take notice of the one known as Chris, passed out in new recliner, arm dangling to one side clutching corn chips. PROBABLY DEAD. Tom is nowhere to be found. Possibly on roof of house. PROBABLY DEAD.
NEW MISSION OBJECTIVE:
Beat down every door in the house to find Tom before completing first mission objective and angrly tell him to clean up the destruction.
What a wonderful surprise I awake too hmm?
A night of complete alcoholocaust and pictures all burned to the ground. Fun, none the less. One of the funniest things I have to say was the matchup of the Super Zur, deciding who drinks first. Despite Cody having to, me and Chris broke that real quick. Toward the end of that match, Cody gets up to go to the bathroom. I see him crack up for a few seconds when he gets back. By that time it was down to Me and Chris' Super Zur vs. Jim's Super Zur. The reason why he was laughing was because all 4 of us were literally screaming at the TV like it was the fucking superbowl. Went to go visit Amberger at Circus Circus after that. I was anxious to drink by this point. Next Super Zur matchup was for who gets the Capn Morgan bag. Unfourtinatley, I missed it due to my stomach writhing in pain. No, not vomiting, I'm not drunk yet, I just had to shit. REALLY BAD. I come out right as my character dies. Fucking perfect...
On with the great poker game!
God damn you Jim! Sober Irish bastard! I swear dude, I'm not letting you make me drink like that again you intimidating bastard XD.
We started picking up people eventually, and I had El Pollo Diablo hike up Chris, and I picked the both of them up. Not on the first time mind you, because I lost my balance and took the both of 'em down with me. Got them both up on the second try. About 450 lbs. Not bad for a drunkard eh?
Needless to say, I forgot to mention The Baka was the first one gone out of all of us, and by god he's a fun drunk. Can't believe I broke his head as quick as I did with my new page of Top Knot though... glad to see I got a rise out of you though :D
As for you Jim, I'm still ranting about you, you sober ass! XD Next time we drink you'll be slammin' back everclear alright? XD
Kinda funny. Losers of the poker game were to drink. Needless to say, I get up all to find my drink refilled, JIM! XD Love ya brotha! Heh heh heh... you conniving bastage you.
Cody and Chris were having a very philosophical drunken conversation after poker, and after the sparring. Jim got in a good hit on Cody, and Cody bruised Chris' ribs. Chris is still feeling that, and now every time he laughs, you hear him suck in air and grab his rib in pain. Though I shouldn't be laughing, I just find it fucking hysterical to hear "HAHHAHA SSSSSSSSSSSSS..... HAHAHAHA SSSSSSS.... HAHAHAHA SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS....."
About that time, I watched the 1999 Secret Object music video that finished that night. BY GOD... a Seikima video while drunk is acid for the brain. IT'S THAT FRIGHTENING. "What a fucking rock 'n roll band..." "No... shuukyou datai."
Nothing like seeing RIAA execs literally blown the fuck up! While you're drunk, that sets your mind into a state of panic. It's wonderful.
After which, it's a blur. Ended up back outside. Vomited 3 seperate times around the side of the house. Heard the fuckers around the back laughing at my projectile and loud vomiting. Douggie Bear leaves to go to get some sleep in his car before work. Jim walks home sometime later. Cody apparantley vomited along the side of the house too, and got it on my duster and his pants when it happened. Chris apparantley did too. Rather curious to hear if Doug did as well, though it wouldn't surprise me. Seemed to be the popular spot for vomiting that night.
Next thing I know, Cody is belting the Capn's special bottle across the lawn, and trying to break a beer glass with his hand. Ends up spraining it pretty bad.
Now I know you're curious to see what kind of pain I get for laughing at poor Nixon. Oh, I have my share of it. When I lifted both Chris and Doug, it was knees, back, and stomach. My abs haven't had that kind of workout in a long time, so they're fucking sore. Now every time me and Chris laugh, it's a sick combo of "HAHAHAHA SSSSSSS!" and "HAHAHAHA OH DEAR GOD!" as we both double over in pain. All we need is Cody smacking his knee or clapping his hands or giving a high five in there. Then we'll deffinatley get into the 3 Stooges ward of the hospital.
More on this later, I need rest... took me an hour to write this fucking thing. It's 6 am... |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| Two Months and STILL No REAL News |
|
|
| 07:02am 07/03/2004 |
| |
mood:  awake music: Wolf & Raven by Sonata Arctica
|
Do me a flavor. Go here:
http://www.gapingmaw.com/88590/
But before you do, I've come up with a list for all of you who live in Reno to laugh about when you're reading this madness. For example:
Las Vegas = Reno
Easy enough? No? Tough. Get reading. Should be in event order.
Sin City = Biggest Little Toilet in the World
Siegfried & Roy = John Asguaga
Anything pertaining to M&M's (except refrence below) = Circus Circus
Bellagio = Silver Legacy
Oasis Motel = Sands Casino
Suddenly Susan = Stupid Commercials
David Strictland = Feranc Szoni
Sanitized = Unsanitized
MGM Grand = Atlantis
Lions and/or Testicles = Torches
Paramount Studio's Star Trek: The Experience/Deep Space Nine = Fun Quest
Gene Rodenberry = Ted Turner
Yellow M&M Refrence = Circus Circus Clown
OR, you could read it without my fixens and it's still equally funny, however the 'Reno' overtone gives an unmistakeable air to it.
Btw... for all of you, I'm going to try to not be lazy on this for a bit. I owe it to you, and overall to the year. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| Bad Again |
|
|
| 08:26am 27/01/2004 |
| |
mood: sick music: Purgatory (Iron Maiden Cover) by Withering Surface
|
DEAR GOD WHY...!
I'm fucking sick as hell again. I really shouldn't have worked out with Cody the last time I did... can't help but feel that had something to do with this madness. Why am I sick again you ask (don't blame this on smoking either...)? Because my filthy hippie father refuses to go to the god damned doctor. He's been sick for upward of 3 months now, and still hasn't gone to the doctor. How do I know it was him? Weighing out the options I have here... I know Jim has a hardcore cold (get well soon my brother), but the last I saw him a week before he got it. Couldn't be him. Anyone else? NEIN. Considering I also still live with my father, that raises the odds. Keep in mind, this is the third time I've been sick in the last 3 months with him as the dire suspect. What is it with the number 3 this time around?
Off topic for just one second, I hope you all like my new journal layout. Sat down and did that a while back, I think a day or two after my last entry.
Back on track...
I haven't eaten a full meal in two days now, and I had nothing today. I feel like giving Jack Kevorkian a call... I haven't felt this bad in about 3 years now. Even the fires of hell can't keep me warm, as I'm always shivering even though I'm sweating like a pig. Dad's answer? Entirely my fault. ::rolls eyes:: A wonderful solution to a problem that can't be fixed. The man has always had a problem with saying he was, has, or had done something wrong. To be perfectly honest, I don't remember the last time he admitted.
So this is just perfect. Someone please put a gun to my head... I'm literally on my knees begging you all...
Of course, I could always go to the crack clinic and get myself fixed... only problem, I'll have to pay double over the course of a few years, and this will literally DESTROY my credit. If this gets any worse, I'll have to...
My limph nodes are so swolen right now I can barely breathe, and swallowing anything is an absolute nightmare... the lack of advil or cold medicine here has a factor in this...
Filthy hippie! Sometimes I'm ashamed he's my father... |
|
| |
|
Read 3 - Post |
| |
| As the Gears of Pain Grind Away Today |
|
|
| 01:12pm 16/01/2004 |
| |
|
mood: reclusive music: Skunk Hour by Ebony Tears
|
Where the fuck have I been? Where the fuck have you been?
Better question is... what did I miss? I've been rather reclusive since the new year, and haven't felt the urge to go out and rape the unwilling (so to speak). Which brings me to my next topic of discussion. About a week ago, I chose to go completely celebate. BY CHOICE. Now I know many of you are going "DEAR GOD MAN! WHY?!" So before I can get ahead of myself and forget to answer it, it's so I can achieve a deeper understanding of myself in my madness. Btw, yes that includes my right hand as well.
It's been a very slow week, seeing as how I don't leave anymore. I'm running out of cigarettes and my reserve money. Looks like I have to fall upon Ebay and get rid of some of my prized possessions to survive another month. Damn it. I didn't get that call for the Dead Animal Convention... leave it to luck this year they only needed 6 guys from the union. The one year I jump on the bandwagon and I get fucked. Ugh.
The fact that everytime I sleep anymore I have nightmares isn't helping either. I sleep for 2 hours, wake up terrified. Go back to sleep for another 2, and wake up a wreck again. This has been happening since the new year. Slowly, but surely, I'm losing my mind.
Skip past this lonliness drivel if you don't wanna hear someone ELSE bitch about it.
In case you're wondering at the half ass reason I gave above, well... yes there is a deeper understanding. Seeing your own friends glare at you with the piercing stare of "That poor son of a bitch will never find love... ::cuddles with significant other::" is really awful. So far there's only one couple that has done that, and for those who read this often, it's not Jim, Düg, or A-RON (along with your significant others). Trust me... it's not you guys.
I've had people stare at me like that for years now. Only one other time was it one of my close friends. It makes me feel like never leaving the house again, because deep inside, I know they're right.
I know I'm sounding like someone we all know who goes up and down about lonliness, but please tolerate this a little longer.
The last time it happened was a few nights ago when I stepped out of the house the last time. Tore me apart to be glared at the entire night like that. I've got two words for the people who feel good for a fucker getting lucky like that, and some harsh words for those who feel good for 'em. Boo fucking hoo. I know I may being a bit rough with this one, but damn it... it's tiring to be stuck in a social corner trying to fight your way out constantly. It appears I'm the only one who knows what this is like...
End Obnoxious Rant
On the lighter side of things, I've been disowned by my mother, simply because my father asked me not to pay her back with the money he gave me for X-mas. Why is she being a royal pain? Because she doesn't have her money and refuses to understand, just like the bigoted christian she is. All I'm doing is honoring his wishes, and here I am, being disowned. Perfect. So I can always count on ya, huh?
To conclude... maybe someone can tell me.
What the hell IS an M-DOAN?!
LoL... time for ciggy... |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| So... what now? |
|
|
| 03:13am 28/12/2003 |
| |
|
music: Still Loving You by Sonata Arctica
|
I walk home from a drunkard and a half. Immediately I notice the piss yellow sourdrop rotting in the filthy space. I then think to myself...
"Wonderful. Here goes the fake smile again."
There's nothing I hate to do more than to go out of my way to be polite and kind when it is not deserved. As I walk through the frozen blades of well taken care of grass, I bite my pride and force myself to be nice. Across the gray slabs and to the locked door, once again faced with the bullet holes in the frozen glass.
"Perhaps tonight, I will be given courtesey."
I laugh to myself in thinking what that icicle in hell would be doing, for that was the chance I was faced with in having the kindness returned. Across the dusty tiles now, onto the tattered blue/gray mixed carpet, retrieving my phone. Down the darkened hallway, with a glimmer at the end. Two figures stood.
"Good evening, nice to see you." I spouted off nicely.
Of course, I get no response. Only a shocked look... one that I can pinpoint and understand the second I see it. The infamous "What the fuck are you doing here?!" look. A cold stare, with mouth gaping open dumbfoundedly, anger yet confusion in the eyes. Into the blue room with ratty carpeting, placing the phone on the black and grey charger.
"She's still afraid," as I laugh to myself.
Again, I am stuck with the same bullshit. Ten years of blame, alice, and coldness shot in my general direction, and alas, only more awaits with just one glare. The pale, vane woman promptly leaves. And still, nothing said.
"She cut her hair, and now mine is much longer than hers. God her's looks terrible, and I bet no one has the decency to tell her," which is slowly thought over. "But I need to get back to the topic that plauges me. Why is she still afraid?! I have shown her nothing but happiness and kindness since the big argument in September. What do I have to show for it?! A festering corpse riddled with the plauge of secrets and lies! What more should be expected?!"
At that second, I realised that it wasn't just my pride that was at stake, but my very morals and values. Doing these things makes me feel terrible, and all for a lost cause! I would love to ask her why she is afraid of me when I can catch her alone. Must we forget why exactly she feels that way? And need we forget that she's been a constant source of menace, like a neverending sore at the back of your tounge. The analisys of this problem is like trying to prove quantum physics. If anyone would like an explanation, I'll do an entry on it. Just ask. Only speculation and anger spout fourth from this problem, and cannot be fixed or mended in any way. My deep-seeded hatred and loathing for this type of person grows evermore present with the more days I have to put up with such ridiculous behavior.
If Jaice had a christian sin, it would be vanity. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| And I Stole This Too... |
|
|
| 12:29pm 28/11/2003 |
| |
mood: hungry music: Black #1 by Type O Negative
|
1) What's the first person you slept with's middle name?
Anne
2) What kind of underwear are you wearing? And what color?
Black something... or... another?
3) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Wasted Years by Iron Maiden. Although... Lookin Out My Backdoor by CCR sounds apt too lol...
4) What is the number of your sluttiest friend so some of your friends can get some action?
867-5309 MWAHAHAHA!
5) What would your last meal be before being executed?
Very good question. All I know is that there isn't enough sushi to stop me from dying by a bursted stomach :P
6) Beatles or Stones?
Thank you Düg. Yes, Stones.
7) If you had to pick one person on earth to die, who would it be?
Alan Greenspan. The world will crumble because of it.
8) The person whose problems you wouldn't want to hear?
Tough one. I can think of a few people.
9) What is the thing most important to you about the preferred sex?
Intelligence, wit, and a drive to burn hippies on the lawn.
10) Do you secretly hate some of your friends, but are too nice to reject them?
Hmm... not really. Someone pisses me off that badly, I'll tell 'em these days.
11) If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Teleportation. Doug said it best.
12) Favorite hangover cure?
Prarie Oysters. Damn you Spike.
13) How many drinks does it take to get you drunk?
Quite a few. Not a lot, but I put up a little fight :P
14) Favorite OutKast lyric?
Didn't I shoot that idiot last week? That's not a quote... I'm just wondering if that was him...?
15) Hair color you most like someone you're dating to have?
HRM... red or black. MMM YES.
16) If you had to be blind or deaf?
Deaf. For the love of Odin, Deaf!
17) Do you have any psychiatric problems?
Seeing how I got a -45 out of 60 on Elaine's old Psychology class evaluation, I'd say I'm far off the deep end, and shot the cuckoo's nest.
18) Siblings that should go to rehab?
Wait... I was going to say prison would work for my brother, cause then he'd grow up. However I think he'd like being inprisoned with Big Al a little too much...
19) Least favorite month?
December.
20) Favorite hateful thing to do to somebody?
Mothballs in the gas tank :P
21) 1st movie you remember seeing as a kid?
Peter fucking Pan.
22) Favorite person in the whole world?
Who else besides Mr. T?! Take it as you will because I can't figure out if it's a pun or not just yet... :P
23) When's the last time you went on a date?
Let's see... it's been a little over 3 years now.
24) Do you like violent movies or dirty movies?
What? Like Dirty Harry? :D I hope someone caught that joke...
25) Fall or spring?
Spring. I HATE COLD.
26) Person you most wish you hadn't made out with?
Gimme an A. Gimme an N. Gimme a G. Gimme an L. Gimme and E. Gimme an R! Tack the fish! What's that spell? Get a life, Tom. I mean come on... see what happens when I date an angeler fish??
27) If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with?
See Baka Düg's Crazy Stolen Quiz answers. He pulled the words out of my mouth AGAIN.
28) Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle?
Somewhere in rural Japan.
29) Who is the person you can count on the most?
This isn't pride here, but myself. I always have that to fall upon if my friends and family disown me :)
30) If you could date any celebrity, past or present, time and age are not a factor..
Need I say Betty Paige? Or is that just a bit too obvious...
31) What books have you pretended to read?
Stargate.
32) What's a word you'd use to describe your life?
Gimme a minute... another word for hell will come to mind...
33) What's your favorite drinking game?
That or that crazy japanese game show they have on Spike TV. Bet on your winner :P
34) What did you dream about last night?
Too tired to dream. 28 awake hours will do that to you.
35) Favorite vices?
Miami Vice? I hope someone caught that joke too...
36) What's the last thing you'd ever tell someone?
I've converted. Jesus saves. He can save you too!
Why does this stupid quiz end at 36? You mean to tell me I can't shout "37?! In a row?!"
Btw... you have no IDEA how hard I tried not to bastardize the answer on 36. God I still feel bad just leaving it there! |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
dominusgaeus's journal